Just destory my earphone... =(

What a day what a day..hust madwe my earphones spoilt... =( Sign...Today dunno why everything seems so so damn wrong ARGGGGG...This round is not about feelings but circumstances around...have not been feeling at all good since this morning....

Again another new phase in life...Which i have to adapt..Never once in life i had so many changes in a short span of time..I know in all my problems mine is the least important and all..But how come i see it so heavily?? Where there are the times in which i really faced something that i cannot handle...All my struggles i can handle...it is how i see it i think?? is it not??

Today Aunty Florence last day...I dun feel happy at all..Not because of the work load (in a way yes i am scare of waht is to come but i belive with enough rest iam able to pick up..) but it is her presense in the office....Now there is one big hole in the middle between me and my boss...back to being a doughnut again....ARGGGgg this entire thing suck!!!

but then again i guess it is time for her to take life easy at this point of time...I wil still miss her moring greetings saying silly things to her and making her laugh...But now that she is no longer with the firm...i guess i have to laught to myself..and talk more to rashidah..

I have to learn the art of talking to myself alot... I have to feed my brains with alot of info of things to keep my mind from wondering be it music or anything else...i guess...
It is not going to be easy this round...Alot of things sounds alien to me at this point of time..iam back to square one but at the very least there is a curve in the square NOT totally square..Thasnkfully...Rb please be patient with me ok??

Thanks alot Florence too...And of cos Mummy...ops now then mention mummy ..

that so much to my life as at now...Loads of things to learn on monday but tt is for another day..and another time....

God Bless...have a happy holiday too.. =)

Leaving...

Leaving is heartache...No one will understand every individual...No one will be there in the quiet..No one will be there to understand...only in the silence of music..there will be that one song to guide you thru..

Is this a poem i don't know is this is a song it is not...is this something that is in my mind? Yes..The songs that went thru...So many things happened within a shot span of time say 3 months...

But what can we do?? This is life we got to move on?
Sh** another Emo post aagin...sign..why is this so?? So very Arggggggg

stop here dunn o waht to say le....

tk gd care

I passed...19/05/2010 Wednesday 0930hrs BBDC

On the 19 of May 2010..I finially did it...I finially passed my Driving test and got my licence to Drive after 4 attempts..It was a totally humbling experience for me...

I will Like to thank the following who had been there to encourage me

They are

1. God
2. Dad
3. Mum
4. Joel
5. Zhen Wei
6. Chucky
7. Augustine
8. Wee Chong
9. Louis
10. Prem (Iam sorry....)
11. Lil sis
12. Augustine
13. Shu Min
14. PJ
15. Keith
16. Alvin
17. JY
18. Jimmy Yap (intro by Chucky My driving instruction 1 year 3 months =) )

Thanks so much for just being there ohoh And Chucky for introducing Jimmy to me..My driving instructor....Thanks alot for this one year and three months..sorry to put you thru so many engine stalls and wide turing adn all that..It is all over now i apprecaite your gudience alot...

Thanks Chucky for being there too....And louis for your support and everyone who had pull me thru without you all i will be nothing..

dad took me for a ride..IT was scary will cover more on that later..now iam tired...tiem to rest

God Bless you all....

sincerely,

john

I forgotton...

Just as i was about to write my blog my mind went totally blank not because i didn't want to blog but it is just one of the day where by my taught ran away from me ARGGGGgggggggggg...

COme back to me taughts!!!! I need you to help me finish this blog haha....

Well i guess as far as i can recall...It is somkething pleasent and not so pleasent maybe as i type things will just come back to me...I hope fingers crossed thou..course i realli cannopt recall..
Oh NO!!! This is bad...not god at all....sob sob...

Life is much better..I pluck up the courage to say a few things to Pg and seems me and louis are back as friends that is really nice..I thank God for the people who encouraged me thru out this journey...
Will i embark on a new journey or rather a new chapter in life?? Soon?? Will my taughts be the same or as screw as LAST time?? What is the road ahead for me??
I am taking my driving test the FOURTH time FOR goodness sake haha.. =) Dunno to laugh or cry.

A new course in August?? A new beginning...
To all the people who was along with me this journey i thank you..Without YOU ALL i will not be here where iam I thank God for each and everyone of you...

Sorry for the pain and the effort i will try to not let it go to waste..Thanks alot for beliving..God Bless you!!!

see you all soon...

john

When everything else fails.....

Everybody needs inspiration

Everybody needs a song

Beautiful melody, when the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee

That this life is easy

When my world is falling apart,

when there is no light to break up the dark

That's when I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore

That's when I look at you

When I look at you

I see forgiveness, I see the truth

You love me for who I am

like the stars hold the moon

Right there where they belong and I know I'm not alone

When my world is falling apart,

when there is no light to break up the dark

That's when I look at you

When the waves are flooding the shore and

I can't find my way home anymore

That's when I look at you

Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me

All I need every breath that I breathe

Don't you know you're beautiful

When the waves are flooding the shore and I can't find my way home anymore

That's when I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me.

It is office hours and i am blogging can you believe it...This song left a very lasting impression on me and i find the need to blog it...If not i will will forget what to say...

If time could re-arrenge itself i will not let things happen they way there were...If only...

Life is about if only...if only i did this i did not do that i did this...

Why not at that poinnt of time say this and not live to regret it

WHY!!!!!!!!!! but it is all too late...the verdict had been passed already....

it is stated already..Full stop....

You have your adgenda i have mine....You have your piorties i have mine..

you have your carrer i have mine...That was it all said and done

IF ONLY!!!!!!!!!! If only there was only...i will not let things turn out the way they were before.... =(

Bro IAM SORRY>>..... =...( Sorry if u could only hear me....

Sorry for shouting at you too....

Relationship.

Now i being to understand...What a considience..the song is playing in my I pod as i type guess waht the title of the song is "You got a friend in me" Just so as i was wanting to type or put my words of thoughts down....

Sometimes being able to type is not that bad after all....It put your mind to sleep and let somethings else take over be it the mind or the sub concious mind...Whatever we aclled it..

In office i expererience alot of things far more then what i did back then will it make me a stronger person or will it tear me to pieces...Sometimes people says it all within you..Do not laso the exterior counts?? Will it not also account for what's happeing overall??

I feel lost..25 years...Never once was i broken..this much...much lesser to primay scool..here a voice saying then DUN look back on the past there also another cvoice you cannot flare out..
It happened once in the army that changed my entire course in life in the army Just because of one stuipd incidient that i cannot control my temper..Just once..

In life ONCE is enough tto cahnge your entire life in or at whereever you are..

Why have i yet to learnt thios lesson..Peole tell me to have my own mind..When i do have They backofre me..my self why?? why is the problem forever me??

How?? Why?? WHY ME!!!!Am i wrongh?? am i really realy wrong??

I hiope that this will never happen to me in futuer if it does I will die..cannot take this anymore....
Lord if you are really there please tell me...Am i really the courese of things in my life??
Am i always the one...Can i be able to sing that song So amazing that i found my inner voice??

Amazing

I have heard my inner voice

And finally can rejoice

I was lost and way down

Never thought that I would be

Amazing but now I'm free

So you let go of love that's holding on

And you close your eyes

Never thought of being wrong

And you surrendered half your lifeTo a world of pain and sacrifice

But through it all, through it all

You make things right

Hopefully when i siing this song..The lyrcis will really mean waht it meant to me as from now ewhere i can never comprehen the meaing to these words....

These words will be left inside me..Till the day i can fully gaspe the true meaing...

Dear PG...Thanks for everything...

I now know waht you meant..but i guesss it is all to late already...

I promise i will not let your work go to waste...

I will show you that i can make it,

I dunno how but somehow i will

Wait for me...

Dun give on me just yet.....

I will be stronger this round...

I will remember the words you said to me...

Thank you Louis for everything...

For just being there...

god Bless

john

Susan Boyle

This lady....Inspire the world with her voice.. Where everyone taught she was a JOKE!! But at that very moment she sang the words to the song that very instance... the world applauded...Stood to their feet in amazement.I dreamed a Dream
She say...and she sang her dream.....She is an amazing women...

IT was simply amazing just hearing her sing.Those night where my head was heavy..Her voice puts me to sleep in a very calm manner..Hearing her sing...Make one feel like a blessed child with mummy just by your bedside singing songs of hopes and dreams...
I remember listening to two of her songs wild horses and Wings to fly...

My Gosh Humans should take a listen to it......Her voice was really really amazing!!!!

Want to spread my wings and fly

Away into the sky

How I dream to be so free

No more sadness no more pain

No more anger no more hate

How I dream to have those wings and fly into the sky

If now, I could grant my wish

I'd wish to have those wings

Those wings just like the birds

That fly up in the air

the other song

I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie

I have my freedom but I don’t have much time

Faith has been broken, tears must be cried

Lets do some living after we die

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away

Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day

I just took part of her lyrics as it really meant alot..

Well i guess i will stop here..All the best Susan Boyle!!!!!