How from here???

Recently things had taken a toll on me...Iam sitting here in my office with one thing done and now yet another mcuh bigger thing has happened..Shold i drop my Accounts?? These three days were like hell for me....Friday all the way to sunday... Every second every minute every hour till the night it was the longest journey of my life.

Iam glad that i had my friends wih me on saturday evening..Where i can tell them how i feel..But that did not satifify me alot...That was just tempoary....Friday was just a day of walking to the esplanade to wathc a mini gig...playing funk music...I taught by rokcin out to their tune will make me feel much so much better i was wrong..
it did help for that thirty minutes or so...After that as i begun walking back things took for yet a change i was back to my heaviness... As i tong the mall...I saw groups of girls working adults groups of friedns walking the malls...I feel so lost i felt all alone...Where there could be a screaming corner just for us to scream...

I realise that life was so much much much more..But yet i still am unable to convinve myself...

Saturday....When for class this round it was not ok..I broke down to the core in class....I cannot take that anymore...At that very point of time i feel like walking out of the class room..And never return anymore...At that point of time my world came crumbling down...At that very instance everything seems reali reali bleak...I could write a thousands words jsut to express how i feel in that very short time of just two hours...That emotion running thru my being was not at all a good sign..I wish that time will jsut slip thur tt was all that i could think off....At that second of time..

Again iam thankfull for the laughter in class i did laught a little talk to a couple of people..That help alot alot to...

Thankfully class was soon over....the longest 2 hours of my life came to an end for that sat...After which i went to meet my friend...walked around taka while wating for him to knock off work...

As i was waiting again ...i see the crowds anfd the people around i went to the book stall to look at books that took my mind off thigns for that spilt sceond of time...

Then finially my friend knock off we headed dowon to Jurong point to meet up with the rest along teh the way we talked and laughed abit..I asked him questions about life...he answered it in a funny way but nonetheless it does or rater did make sense...
Finially we met up with the rest... Begun talking about alot of things over dinner and some desert...IT was a reali light hearted monent for me...tha tkind of bliss that i was longing for al this while since a couple of incidient back.....
Then again it was time to go home...The journey home was not as pleasent as it was..it was reather heavy and all....so heavy that i could not sleep i was broken....totally shattered totally with no reason to do anyhting...

I tried to play music i tried to watch trv i tried this and that but still that things will not get passed mi....iam tired but i was unable to sleep...But am thxful for my friends

Sunday was worst after service Mum brought us to jack place for lunch it felt as if i was goin gthur the motion it was not good at all the food was tasteless...Due to my feeling and all that...
Mum keep buging what was happeing till i finially told her

or it is me that iam makign something that others see it as simple thus only letting myself in this very state?

At home i lay in my bed hoping for an answer but it just got worst....The time yesterday flowed like millions of hours...It keep flowing....But still time waits for no men...

It hit 1am....iwas not asleep...i could not sleep..... Called couple of my friends...still it did helped g for that couple of minutes or so...after that my head became heavy and it was littliery floating in the air...even till now as i speak.....

Lord iam broken......Iam thrashed....Lord i cannot come come back anymore......